i miss my dogs.... :(

secret wish of the day: gain weight and not be SO DAMN tired!

news

I am starting a new blog, a second blog. Lord help me but I think I can do it! Its for my dogs and for me too, so that I can have another creative outlet and to share thier silly ways. So Our Doggies Tails is new and I think it will be fun!

Take a breath

Today we took our Bella to the vet.

She broke her toenail this weekend. :(

We all went to the dog park and when we got home my lover saw her limping.

We think it happened when she was trying to get away from another dog.

There was a bigger dog who was playing ruff and at one point tried to mount her.

She gets really excited with other dogs and she has not been spayed yet so we like to keep her on leash.

So we looked up how we could take care of her foot at home, so that her toe wouldn't get even more messed up, until we could get her to a vet. 

My lover and I were worried because we don't have money.

But she needed to see a vet, the brake was at the base of toenail.

Luckily however, I qualified for a carecredit card.

So we can get her what she needs and be able to pay for it!

We are able to get her toenail fix and get her fix!

And that makes me happy, excited even!

But we have to leave her there over night and I have been so antsy. 

I know she is ok and in great hands.

But...she is not with me and she is going to hurt when she wakes up. :(

So, all I need to do today is take a breath.

The other thing that is going on today is my work site is being evaluated!

I get to go to work and be watched, yay! 

t m i

This maybe t.m.i. but, I want to share, so whatever.

I live in a studio apartment with my lover.

Because it's just my lover and I; I pee with the bathroom door open. And this one time I was finishing up and I looked over and I see my dogs. They were both peering over the corner of the wall looking at me with their heads cocked to the side. Looking very curious at me as if to say 'what are you doing?'

They make me smile and keep me happy.

They are silly and sweet.

They get so very EXCITED!

But so very good.

They may need some obedient training

(well I need the training but that is something else)

But they are so very good; most of the time!

The other thing that maybe t.m.i. is

I have gas.

I have so much gas.

And it hurts!

So I let it out.

I think it could be my meds.

Sometimes it comes at inappropriate times.

And I think it's funny.

Like during a quite moment in a movie or show.

My gas starts to hurts me and I need to let it out.

So, I do...and then well, I laugh...a lot!

Then my lover looks over at me because I just ruined the moment.

And I can't help it, it's just so funny!

So I laugh!

Secret wish for the day: To actually get pictures of my doggies being so cute and not missing the moment by just seconds.

things that make me smile

My lover!......................................Road trips!

Food and snacks!...........................Taking pictures!

Making the baby laugh!...................Watching the dogs play!

Getting to hold the little one!..........Being able to just sit down and

veg out with the television! Getting overly excited about something

that I have seen and my lover caves! Thinking about all the places I

want to go to and planning on how to get there! I have this pink

chair that is big enough for Bella and I to sit in and Bella gets

to help me writ my blog, facebook games, or just surf the

web! Taking vacations with just my lover and I, and

maybe the dogs too! Learning new ways to make

jewelry! Sitting at home watching a movie with

my lover! Being with my family an my

friends! Watching my lover acted like

a dork! Watching the waves on the

beach! Date night! Creating!

Drawing! Smiling!

Love!

Secret with of the day: A rice bowl from Jack in the Box!

AWE! Father-Daughter!

I saw these two on Ellen today and they are just the cutest!

She is the sweetest little girl!

I want songs and a prayer before bed when we have a kid!

Or kids whatever happens.

This duo makes my heart melt!

I just love it!!

Secret wish of the day: To make a child as humble as this little one!

Sanity

I know things are hard for us right now but things will pick up.

It will happen.

We will make it happen.

The things that keep sane while my head makes me absolutely mad

are my crazy husband, the occasional family or friend thing, and the dogs.

While facebook and netflix can help me drowned out the stress of my life my everyday life,

they don't help me feel better.

I like my job but that can be a stesser in itself and that's not much help.

School was a bust this semester because of financial aid.

So I go out when I can, and my lover makes me laugh everyday!

Which is good too cause I usually cough up and out some green crap!

And Yes before I did say dogs, lol it's not a typo it is a new decision.

My lover found a small dog and we just couldn't leave him.

We tried to find his home but couldn't, and we tried to give him to the rescue that we got Bella from but she changed her number.

And now he is growing on us, GREAT!

It's so awesome being dog lovers. :)

But this comes at a time when we are trying to find a different place to live so it's going to working out. We have also named him....so ya! lol we are stuck with him....heehee.

I don't know, he is cute and Bella loves him.

She loves her Buddy.

In other news I am feeling the need to start working on a creative outlet for myself. Just not sure yet which thing I want to start.

I have also been trying to figure out how to make our lives work around getting the careers we want. My lover wants to be a Firefighter and I want to be a Physical Therapist.

I've been watching the news the last few days and it is just so hard to believe what is going on in Japan. All of the damage is so hard for me to wrap my head around. I wish the best to them in fixing and rebuilding their lives and their land.

The craziest video I have seen was from a friends post on facebook. A cameraman living in Tokyo made a film from footage off of a television station in Japan. In the footage you can see the water rising up from the street. The person filming is so close to the water, I am amazed that they didn't get swept away. The current is so strong that you can see it creep up and take away cars, a railing and buildings. It is astonishing and breathtaking how insane mother nature is.

Secret with of the Day: Get my travel fix in, with all the travel snacks.

Arg...

I feel so unproductive, unmotivated, and something else...

bla...that's what it is!

There is so much Brian and I have to do and this is how I feel.

I wont to get up and take care of my crap but I am also so discouraged.

So much to do and I feel like we are not going to get through it and get what we want.

I am not very happy with where we are right know.

I have so many things that I want to change!

I also have absolutely no idea were to start.

The really crappy part is that I kinda feel like I wont be able to get to where I wont to be.

Now I think it is safe to say that most of how I feel is in my own damn head.

But it is how I feel. So...

How do you know where to start?

The secret wish for today: to feel accomplished

...

i feel like i suck at life...

things have been really f'n hard lately.

my husband is so awesome about making life fun and good in the moment.

but all of the plans i make or try to make get messed up.

life, get in the way of my plans.

i am getting so discouraged lately...

the things that i want seem so out of reach right now.

brain can always make me laugh and smile.

i love him so much.

he turned 23 not too long ago but i couldn't really do anything for him.

all we could afford to do was buy a cake mix,

so i made him a cake...

it was nice i just wish we could have done more.

i guess i just need so wait...

life is like the earths surface

there are high points and low points.

and all the low point make you appreciate the high ones that much more!

Well, whats up with you?

I'm back.....moohoohaha

It has been like almost two months! wow were dose the time go. I thought hey I will start a blog and it will be fun! yay! And mostly it has been fun but then life gets going and don't make the time to blog it...but whatever I am here now.

In the last two months my step mom had her baby boy!

That was so amazing and he is the cutes!

I got a job working at an after school program and I am really enjoying it. I work with mostly first and second graders.

My brother had a big benefit in his honor in Monterey and Phil Keaggy played!

It was so awesome and so much fun!

I only wish I did not have to come strait home.

My husband and I got a dog!!!!!!!!!!! Its a girl her name is Bella and we love her so much! She has been huge blessing to have! She makes us so very happy!! We have been saying that she fits in so well with us because she is a dork just like us! She dose this hop thing when she is getting her bone and she has a foot fetish! I think its funny but the hubby said its creepy. lol!

We also just celebrated our SEVEN year anniversary! yay!

We have no monies so we did not go out of town like I would have liked but we did have a great time with some old friends and some news ones too!

Another new thing is that my hubby is going to be a firefighter!

He has started taking classes and working towards his new goal!

I am proud of him, he has been working on school and dieting.

I am mostly proud because he has been sticking with it, and that has not always been the case with him.

I am looking forward to the next few months, because these last ones have been nice

Here are some pics.

This is the newest member of the fam!

This is my new doggie!

She is the sweetest dog!

I like this pic cause she is holding the rope!

Ramble Ramlbe

I have my doctors appointment today.

Lil nerves because it has been a while since my last one.

My cough has increased, and so I have been getting tried easy.

And living upstairs in my apartment has not been the greatest sometimes.

And this last weekend my stomach hurt one day and bad (I think gas) pains the nest day.

I got asked if I think that I would be put in....

and well, I don't know

I don't really think about it because I don't want to convince myself that I am sick enough to be put in and have that weighing over my head until my actual appointment.

It just makes things gloomy for me and I have dinner plans damn it!

idk it just that the hospital is so boring when your not sick enough to sleep though it.

Or at least that is how it is for me...

And on the other hand maybe I am sick but not sick enough to go in!

Maybe I can get some meds to do at home!

...well I will just see what happens...

well I guess enough ramblings from me, for now

...mow-hoo-ha-ha

Wooow!!

I am excited!

My little sister starts kindergarten today!

Brian is at work!

My mother in law is coming to stay this week!

Josh was in town this weekend!

Jake, my brother, is going to have a pool party soon!

Its been and going to be really nice!

I like being excited about having my mother in law stay.

I have the best mother in law.

She is planning on moving back to Stockton to be closer to her kids.

But secretly she is really coming home to encourage us to give her grand kids!

;)

I need a brake from kids before I make my own.

I have been a baby sitter for five years! I need a brake!

And most importantly my lover understands that.

Oooo!

I am happy to hear from my step mom about obgyn's that have had cystic patients in town.

I my not want kids now , but I will some time soon and I want to be prepared before the time comes.

I really need to get healthy before any babies.

My biggest problem, other than exercise, is weight.

I am so tiny, I hate being so small.

Its weird talking to people sometimes because I have the opposite problem,

I need to gain 15 pounds not loose it!

I think since I am not going to babysit full time any more I really need to focus on eating and exercise while I look for new work.

Wish me luck!

The end is near

This morning I am feeling a little sad, I am a babysitter and have been for five years. But this morning is the start of my last week as a babysitter. Next Monday I will be trying to find a new job and saving up so that I can go back to school.

I have been feeling the need for change for some time now.

But I will miss my two little girls.

I have enjoyed my time with both girls,

and soon I will be moving on.

Time sure dose fly!

It has been like two months since my last post, and a lot has happened. My husband got laid off, I stopped babysitting one little one and by the end of next week I will be out of work. Want to through the never ending 'you need to do' list out the damb window. My little sister had her fifth birthday party today!! That was a lot of fun. But my dumb ass forgot the camera. Went to Ikea. My step mom is prego and is due in September. Very exciting stuff!! Crossed some 'you need to do's' off the list. YAY! Then added more. My hubby and I feel in love with a dog, a lab/pit bull mix, but we can't get a pet until we get a new job :( ...we even picked a name, pearl.... My brother in law came up for a visit and is going to move back up soon. I decided that I need to go finish my three classes so that I can get my AA degree (The thing that really sucks for me is by the time I had gotten serious about going back to school it was too late for me this semester. But Fall semester here I come baby!! I so need to go back to school, I am bored and I need a challenge.) I also decided that I want to study so that I can be a Physical Therapist. Josh road an 18 mile, on a totally awesome vintage bike, for Bike For Breath!!!! Some of the people that met my brother were amazed and wowed that he is for months out of a double lung transplant and was there participating in the event. But for us family members whom had the opportunity to go were not surprised by my brothers ability to be outstanding! I think that's about it, it as been fun and stressful but that's life! o ya, finally made that Dr appointment and I got new pills for the first time! I'd been on ultrase since forever but they discontinued so now they gave me creon. yay for pills.

Happy Birthday to ME!!

This year my birthday plans are not so exciting.

But I have already started planning next years birthday!! heehee

Next year my birthday will be so much fun for me because it will be Friday the 13th!

I was born on Friday the 13th!

For now this years b-day has been nice and very low key.
Went out with my mom, soon to be sister inlaw and her mom to go get toes done.

It was fun! Pretty toes!

The nail lady thought I was 14, which I might add is a step up...for me at least! lol

I am now 24.

So I think for my 26th birthday party I will though a sweet 16 party! ;)

Everyone always tells me it such a great thing the look so young....

But I kinda don't care, I find it funny cause I have gotten some pretty good stories because of looking to young.

Like, once I went to Denny's and was handed a kids menu by a guy who was younger than I was.

Story of my life!

Any way, my husband took me out to outback! yummy yummy!

I also have another outing planed with my papa, my stepmom, and my sister.

I'm happy about that.

I'm excited too cause my little brother is having his engagement party this weekend!

Clean up

My husband and I moved into a little studio apartment in early April.

It has been almost a month later and we are still finishing all the unpacking.

We don't wave a lot of stuff, but going though everything and figuring out where to put it all is kind of a pain in the ass.

I wont to be done!

But there is so much to do, because not only did we move but it is our first place so trying to find the right place for all of OUR crap is a pain.

...and yes by 'our crap' it is mostly mine! yay for me I'm sentimental! but that's what happens when ya get a wife so haha ninner ninner booboo...

The place is starting to look nice though.

Man I tell you what it would take me even longer to clean up if I didn't have my husband.

Because I tend to slowly, I mill about when I clean my house, but when that guy starts to clean up he really gets down and dirty! And on top of that he is fast too.

Yay for me again!!

...hahahahahaha...

nature

I really like the dripping sap on this tree.

Just another day as a bizzzzy bizzzzy bee!

Free Time

I am finding that I know have a hole lot of free time in the evenings...so what is a girl to do with so much time??? And I can say from experience!

Nothing...well, play on the computer type of nothing ;)

For a woman with so many "need to do's", as my husband calls them, I surely would find something to do right?

.....no.....

I sit on the computer and look crap up, and play on the web!

Why?

...well., crap, I don't know...

Lately when I get home I don't wont to do anything but sit on my butt.

This makes no sense to me but it's what I have been doing.

My hubby was out of work for a while and in March he got a job. Yay!

But the new job hours leaves me lonely in the evenings, for now.

Sadly when we do get to be together I get out my(our) "need to do" list.

I've been asking myself why I tend to do this?

And I have come up with that I don't like to do things alone.

Sad? I don't know, it just is what it is.

I have things to do too! House crap that someone needs to do. Some of which I want to do. I just can not muster up the motivation to do.

....it's poop...

And even after writing this blog can I get up to do anything?

Nope

I just look at my "need to do's"

.....and star....no movement....no motivation....

OOOOOO! If I add a sigh to the lack of movement I can be even more pathetic!

hahahahahahah yay!

playing

Having fun with my sister.