...

i feel like i suck at life...

things have been really f'n hard lately.

my husband is so awesome about making life fun and good in the moment.

but all of the plans i make or try to make get messed up.

life, get in the way of my plans.

i am getting so discouraged lately...

the things that i want seem so out of reach right now.

brain can always make me laugh and smile.

i love him so much.

he turned 23 not too long ago but i couldn't really do anything for him.

all we could afford to do was buy a cake mix,

so i made him a cake...

it was nice i just wish we could have done more.

i guess i just need so wait...

life is like the earths surface

there are high points and low points.

and all the low point make you appreciate the high ones that much more!

Well, whats up with you?

I'm back.....moohoohaha

It has been like almost two months! wow were dose the time go. I thought hey I will start a blog and it will be fun! yay! And mostly it has been fun but then life gets going and don't make the time to blog it...but whatever I am here now.

In the last two months my step mom had her baby boy!

That was so amazing and he is the cutes!

I got a job working at an after school program and I am really enjoying it. I work with mostly first and second graders.

My brother had a big benefit in his honor in Monterey and Phil Keaggy played!

It was so awesome and so much fun!

I only wish I did not have to come strait home.

My husband and I got a dog!!!!!!!!!!! Its a girl her name is Bella and we love her so much! She has been huge blessing to have! She makes us so very happy!! We have been saying that she fits in so well with us because she is a dork just like us! She dose this hop thing when she is getting her bone and she has a foot fetish! I think its funny but the hubby said its creepy. lol!

We also just celebrated our SEVEN year anniversary! yay!

We have no monies so we did not go out of town like I would have liked but we did have a great time with some old friends and some news ones too!

Another new thing is that my hubby is going to be a firefighter!

He has started taking classes and working towards his new goal!

I am proud of him, he has been working on school and dieting.

I am mostly proud because he has been sticking with it, and that has not always been the case with him.

I am looking forward to the next few months, because these last ones have been nice

Here are some pics.

This is the newest member of the fam!

This is my new doggie!

She is the sweetest dog!

I like this pic cause she is holding the rope!

Ramble Ramlbe

I have my doctors appointment today.

Lil nerves because it has been a while since my last one.

My cough has increased, and so I have been getting tried easy.

And living upstairs in my apartment has not been the greatest sometimes.

And this last weekend my stomach hurt one day and bad (I think gas) pains the nest day.

I got asked if I think that I would be put in....

and well, I don't know

I don't really think about it because I don't want to convince myself that I am sick enough to be put in and have that weighing over my head until my actual appointment.

It just makes things gloomy for me and I have dinner plans damn it!

idk it just that the hospital is so boring when your not sick enough to sleep though it.

Or at least that is how it is for me...

And on the other hand maybe I am sick but not sick enough to go in!

Maybe I can get some meds to do at home!

...well I will just see what happens...

well I guess enough ramblings from me, for now

...mow-hoo-ha-ha

Wooow!!

I am excited!

My little sister starts kindergarten today!

Brian is at work!

My mother in law is coming to stay this week!

Josh was in town this weekend!

Jake, my brother, is going to have a pool party soon!

Its been and going to be really nice!

I like being excited about having my mother in law stay.

I have the best mother in law.

She is planning on moving back to Stockton to be closer to her kids.

But secretly she is really coming home to encourage us to give her grand kids!

;)

I need a brake from kids before I make my own.

I have been a baby sitter for five years! I need a brake!

And most importantly my lover understands that.

Oooo!

I am happy to hear from my step mom about obgyn's that have had cystic patients in town.

I my not want kids now , but I will some time soon and I want to be prepared before the time comes.

I really need to get healthy before any babies.

My biggest problem, other than exercise, is weight.

I am so tiny, I hate being so small.

Its weird talking to people sometimes because I have the opposite problem,

I need to gain 15 pounds not loose it!

I think since I am not going to babysit full time any more I really need to focus on eating and exercise while I look for new work.

Wish me luck!

The end is near

This morning I am feeling a little sad, I am a babysitter and have been for five years. But this morning is the start of my last week as a babysitter. Next Monday I will be trying to find a new job and saving up so that I can go back to school.

I have been feeling the need for change for some time now.

But I will miss my two little girls.

I have enjoyed my time with both girls,

and soon I will be moving on.

Time sure dose fly!

It has been like two months since my last post, and a lot has happened. My husband got laid off, I stopped babysitting one little one and by the end of next week I will be out of work. Want to through the never ending 'you need to do' list out the damb window. My little sister had her fifth birthday party today!! That was a lot of fun. But my dumb ass forgot the camera. Went to Ikea. My step mom is prego and is due in September. Very exciting stuff!! Crossed some 'you need to do's' off the list. YAY! Then added more. My hubby and I feel in love with a dog, a lab/pit bull mix, but we can't get a pet until we get a new job :( ...we even picked a name, pearl.... My brother in law came up for a visit and is going to move back up soon. I decided that I need to go finish my three classes so that I can get my AA degree (The thing that really sucks for me is by the time I had gotten serious about going back to school it was too late for me this semester. But Fall semester here I come baby!! I so need to go back to school, I am bored and I need a challenge.) I also decided that I want to study so that I can be a Physical Therapist. Josh road an 18 mile, on a totally awesome vintage bike, for Bike For Breath!!!! Some of the people that met my brother were amazed and wowed that he is for months out of a double lung transplant and was there participating in the event. But for us family members whom had the opportunity to go were not surprised by my brothers ability to be outstanding! I think that's about it, it as been fun and stressful but that's life! o ya, finally made that Dr appointment and I got new pills for the first time! I'd been on ultrase since forever but they discontinued so now they gave me creon. yay for pills.

Happy Birthday to ME!!

This year my birthday plans are not so exciting.

But I have already started planning next years birthday!! heehee

Next year my birthday will be so much fun for me because it will be Friday the 13th!

I was born on Friday the 13th!

For now this years b-day has been nice and very low key.
Went out with my mom, soon to be sister inlaw and her mom to go get toes done.

It was fun! Pretty toes!

The nail lady thought I was 14, which I might add is a step up...for me at least! lol

I am now 24.

So I think for my 26th birthday party I will though a sweet 16 party! ;)

Everyone always tells me it such a great thing the look so young....

But I kinda don't care, I find it funny cause I have gotten some pretty good stories because of looking to young.

Like, once I went to Denny's and was handed a kids menu by a guy who was younger than I was.

Story of my life!

Any way, my husband took me out to outback! yummy yummy!

I also have another outing planed with my papa, my stepmom, and my sister.

I'm happy about that.

I'm excited too cause my little brother is having his engagement party this weekend!